Sick of Sirens

"There's been a lot of tension between us lately."

Yes, there has. I thought that the problems would've come sooner. Annoyances that surfaced from being in close proximity. This has been more subtle. This has been slowly creeping up on us since before we even became a couple. He hates my apathy. He feels that I'm dispassionate. My life is not a reflection of my beliefs. I'm not open enough. I don't even know how to fix these things. He says I need a creative out, but I don't have a clue what that could be. Just because he has guitar and his writing, doesn't mean I can just jump into something similar. I feel like I'm frozen. The idea of trying to just start something from nothing is paralyzing. He doesn't understand this, because I cannot tell him. Another of my faults. My mouth and brain are at odds. They have no idea as to how to communicate my trepidations to him. So I am silent, and he worries. And he stays silent for fear of upsetting me, until he can do nothing else but burst. And so he rants softly, and I cry, and the tension mounts.

Part of me thinks we just need to go somewhere and yell. I don't think I'd know what to say. Or if I did, I'd have too much trouble getting it out. I should write it all down. I should get it all out of my head. I picturing myself with him in the middle of a forest, holding a piece of lined paper and yelling that the top of my lungs. It seems silly to write it, but I think the idea is right.